The end of my most recent relationship was the start of something undeniably satisfying.
It wasn't as easy as it sounds. For as long as I can remember I was dependent on a man. Lacking a father figure as a child, caused a void that lingered into adulthood. I rushed into serious relationships without honestly saying that I've known that individual. He didn't have to love me unconditionally, he didn't have to respect me, he just needed to give me attention & be available to me when I yearned for that attention.
It turned into an itch that needed to be scratched. It wasn't until this most recent breakup that I've noticed that I had this issue. It's came about before, but I've ignored it insisting that it's just who I am & there's nothing wrong.
After my 3 year relationship & 9 month engagement my ex fiancé & I parted ways. Immediately after, I felt I needed a man to fill the void. About 2 months after I decided to go on a date in hopes that this man would be him.
Everything seemed so perfect about this new man... only because I wanted it to be. Not because it was. He wasn't what I was used to & weirdly, it kept me intrigued. I wasn't sure if it was a positive or a negative feeling about him.
Mr New Guy barely had time for me, wasn't always available via call or text, never showed affection, preferred time to himself, didn't show enough interest & overall didn't pursue me. I felt like a non-factor but yet I was STILL intrigued. I didn't want to get to know any other men that could be a potential prospect when I felt I've found Mr. Right... Now.
So I settled for no calls, no daily check ins, no random compliments yet, I was still interested. God spoke to me during all the time I was forced to spend alone. He made the guy that I was infatuated with unavailable so that I had no choice but to become one with myself through him.
I started to discern things like never before. I felt A rebirth within me. I felt more worthy of the things that I required from a potential spouse. I started to want more for myself. I've even decided to give up sexual activities until I knew for sure that the relationship was worth entertaining.
This was something so new to me that in a weird way, I thank him for not being too available & not distracting me from me. I encourage women to spend time with themselves & embrace it. All along, I was able to fill the void I had on my own.
Things to do when you have alone time aka Dating Yourself
I've started practicing Yoga. You'd be amazed by what your body can achieve by doing this weekly. Yoga is relaxing and stimulates your mind. If its too boring for you, blast some trap music and make it fun. Yes, that's a thing courtesy of @TrapYogaBae.
2. Business Goals
You can't say that you truly love yourself until you can say that you've invested in yourself, your dreams, your future. Set both small & large goals that works hand in hand with your business & make it happen. You feel more independent and self sufficient when you have something bigger than you that you can call yours.
3. Try New Foods
I've been low-key fake allergic to so many foods that I tear up on a daily basis. Avocado, Tomatoes, Onions, Peppers, and so much more. Find a recipe or go to a restaurant and try something you've never heard of on the menu. Just make sure you're not real life lol
PS. you can still go to a restaurant by yourself. Bring a book, or your planner... & have a drink.
4. Get Organized
Exclamation Point!!! If your world is cluttered... your world will be cluttered. You can't see things clearly or think straight. You'd feel so much better about yourself when you can plan towards something and it works because you're organized.
Last but not least... whether you're spiritual or you aren't you should always find the time to be one with yourself. For me I find time to be one with God because then I'm better aligned with my goals and self happiness. I've stumbled across Shelah Marie's Meditation Mixtape and in love. That refreshing feeling is very satisfying.
Promote your Self Love & Purchase a T-Shirt today (Click image)